Wednesday, November 7, 2012


Are you sad about the outcome of the election? Then DO something about it! Print this booklet from OneCry called: Draw a Circle. And draw the circle of revival around YOU!

Start with YOURSELF:
Get rid of hidden, secret sin!
Let go of bitterness!
Love your neighbor!
Stop trying to control your family!
Stop living with the entitlement mentality!
Stop living in sexual sin!
Let go of greed!
Humble yourself!
Stop being critical of others!
Lay aside gossip and slander!
Respect authority!
Help the poor!
Serve the widow!
Take care of the orphan!

Above all love God with all your heart, your soul, your mind, and your strength, and love your neighbor as yourself!

Don't look to government to save us...God revive us and start with me! Will you join me!?! Print the "Draw the Circle" booklet and cry to God for revival!

Are you desperate enough to radically obey! Holy Spirit help us obey!

Monday, October 22, 2012

10/22/12 - Authority

Our culture is anti-authority!

We scoff at anyone telling us what we can or can not do!

We despise the line authority God established.

Because we are so anti-authority in our culture we question the full authority of the bible. We fall into the trap of those that question God's Word without much backlash, because after all would God really say that, or did He really mean that? We have set ourselves up as "the authority" in our life, so we can use His word like a buffet, taking what we like, leaving the rest behind. We choose what we want to obey and what we don't! After all, if the Bible isn't the final authority it doesn't really matter!

Because of this pervasive anti-authority issue in our culture many believers are living lives with one foot in the world, one in God's kingdom. Their theology is wimpy, so they are wimpy. Their view of God is wimpy. Therefore they view themselves through this distorted picture. 

Because of this culture balking at authority we are critical of our pastors and elders, figuring out ways to go around their authority. We talk about our bosses behind their backs thinking they aren't that good of leaders anyway! We storm off when our parents set any type of boundaries in our life, rolling our eyes and disregarding their authority. We manipulate our husbands and chide their authority in our life. 

Oh friends may this not represent our lives! May we fully embrace the wonderful, freeing authority God has established! May we always be mindful of honoring and respecting those that God placed as our authority. May we lay down pride thinking we are our final authority and bow our knee to the King of king and Lord of lords!

Blessed is the man who does not walk in the way of the wicked, nor stand in the path of the sinner, nor sit in the seat of scoffers. BUT his delight is in the law of the Lord, and on His law he meditates both day and night. Ps. 1:1-2

Wednesday, October 3, 2012

10/3/12 -Life

Hello readers!

I am around, just not much blogging here lately.

I try to post on Emotional Purity Facebook page almost daily! My hope it to encourage people to walk in humility, brokenness, and honestly before their Lord. To seek to be revived and seek to live the gospel in their every day lives!

Hope you join me over there! 

If you have a blog topic you'd like me to write on, please share!

Also, I am blogging over at Beyond Bath Time! It's been fun encouraging moms!

Thursday, August 23, 2012

08/23/12 - Hardening our Hearts

This morning my bible reading lead me to Psalms's just verse 6 to 8

"Oh come, let us worship and bow down;
let us kneel before the Lord, our Maker!
For he is our God,
and we are the people of his pasture,
and the sheep of his hand.
Today, if you hear his voice,
do not harden your hearts..."

I was stopped at "do not harden your hearts"!

How often do we harden our hearts by ignore the conviction of the Holy Spirit? How often do we avoid doing the hard things God is calling us to do?

Oh may our hearts be soft to the voice of God in our life and may be keep ourselves humble under His mighty hand!

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

08/22/12 - Only 29 days!

I hope you can join me from True Woman 2012 as we seek God together from spiritual renewal!

Register at True Woman 12!

Leave a comment if you are already planning on coming! 


Thursday, August 2, 2012

08/02/12 - Christian Marriage

If you've keeping up with what's happening in the cultural wars this week you know that marriage has been a HOT topic!

We may hold to the belief that marriage is between one man and one woman, but let's us look at the Church in regard to marriage over the last decades, by asking questions.

Do Christian marriages reflect Christ and the church to a watching world?

Are Christians thriving in their marriages, or just merely surviving (living as roommates)?

How many couples in your local body of believers have been divorced in the past 5 years?

Does your church have a solid marriage ministry where couples are encouraged to display the gospel in their marriages?

Do you think the Church displays the beauty of manhood and womanhood?

Marriage, family, and gender have been under attack in our culture for 40 years! Let's start with our marriages to turn the tide!

Understand your role! Live out the gospel! Thrive in YOUR marriage!

Saturday, July 21, 2012

07/21/12 - Quiet Time

Over the past couple of years I've asked people who are struggling with a consistent quiet time, "Has anyone sat you down and shown you how to have a quiet time?"

I will be the first to say there is no formula to a time with God. There's no right or wrong way! There's no perfect way...but having someone show you how they do can be extremely helpful!

For example some think that your quiet time has to be just that, quiet! Well that's not always possible! Some think quiet time has to be a full 30 minutes or it doesn't count! Some even think that there's a certain amount that has to be read in order to qualify as a quiet time! Some don't realize a simple reading plan could greatly enhance those times with God!

My quiet times have looked different in different seasons of my life.

But the one constant...seeking God!

If you are struggling with a consistent quiet time start asking people, "What does your quiet time look like?" "How much do you read?" "Do you have a reading plan?"

And maybe if you're comfortable with them ask them to observe their quiet may help in your own personal devotional life!

The more you are in Truth for yourself, the more you see the lies all around us!

Saturday, June 30, 2012

06/30/12 - Worldview

We all have a worldview: you, me, your friends, your family, we all have a worldview.

Worldview is a certain view you take on the world around you. A certain philosophy on life!

A worldview is like a pair of tinted glasses, let me explain.

Let's say I hand you a pair of yellow lens colored sunglasses. When you put them on you can only view the things around you with a yellow shade. Everything you see and view is effected by the yellow glasses. You can't see anything without a hue of yellow! 

So is a worldview!

Your worldview will tint everything you see! Everything!

How you view education, marriage, family, relationships, conflict, work, media choices, recreational activities, church, ministry, money, and everything else you do or think is effected by your worldview.

This is why it's so important to understand the culture is SCREAMING it's worldview at you! It's telling you to put on it's sunglasses and view the world through it's lens!

The culture's worldview stands in near completely opposition to a biblical worldview.

As followers of Christ we must seek to find the biblical worldview. To do this we have to be in God's word and seek hard after truth. The more we see through a biblical worldview, the easier it is to spot the worldviews the culture wants you to believe is truth. 

Tuesday, June 26, 2012

06/26/12 - Clothes

What's modest? What's not modest? Does it matter? Does it cause someone to stumble? 

So many blogs, articles, and opinions about modesty! 

Oh I have them...opinions that is!

But the more I think about modesty I think of 2 things:

1) Modesty is an issue of the heart. A woman who is Christ-centered will have a heart that longs to exult Him. She won't use her clothes to get attention. 

2) My clothes need to point people to the gospel and make the gospel evident in my life. I don't want me clothes to tarnish the gospel and the work of Christ in my life at all.

We live in a culture that needs to see God's people acting, living, dressing in a way that is completely consistent with the fact that we are God's Royalty! We are sons and daughters of the King! 

When our heart is submitted to the King and when we are behaving in a way that honors the King we serve, the question of what is modesty or what is not modest will not be what we ask.

We will ask: Does this make more of Christ or more of myself? Does this point people to Him or to me? Does this display the gospel or does this display my idol of self? Is this attractive or does this attract unwanted attention? 

As the temps warm up don't do a too low, too short check (although that can be helpful) but do a heart check!

Friday, June 15, 2012

06/15/12 - Laughing At Winter

My mom has set out on a journey.

Some of her family members have walked away from the Lord in their 70's and 80's. This has caused her to ask, "What is the key to walking faithfully to the very end of life?"

She's begun interviewing older women, women in their 70's and 80's to find out how they have stay the course. 

We need to look to the gray haired faithful women of the faith and learn from them. 

Check out my mom's blog: Laughing At Winter

Thursday, June 7, 2012

06/07/12 - Fear vs. Faith

Are you being controlled by fear?

Or are you being controlled by faith?

If you are being controlled by fear you will become judgmental, prideful, critical, scared, box God in, and point your finger at those not "doing" what you think they should be doing.

See when you are controlled by fear you will think a formula will keep you pure. You will think that if you do X, Y and Z, than you will be pure!

When you are walking in step with the Holy Spirit, you may look, externally, like a person who is being motivated by fear, but your heart will be humble, peaceful, looking for the way God is going to move, and smile at what is to come. 

You will know God's plan is the best. You will know that God is moving and working in ways you can't see. You will know that God works differently for His different children. 

God is not a god of fear or confusion...but a God of peace and can be wholly trusted!

Tuesday, June 5, 2012

06/05/12 - Email

I always enjoy hearing from readers! These types of emails bless me more than you know!

"Hi Mrs. Heather, 

I just wanted to thank you so much for your book Emotional Purity and all that it means to me. I am sure that you get emails like this all the time but this book is truly amazing. It is my favorite book (outside of the bible). I have read many books on purity but have never read one that touched me so deeply and really hit home for me. In fact, I just finished reading the book through for the third time.

A year and a half ago your book, along with the hand of God, helped me get out of an emotional relationship that had been battling in my head for some time. After I got out of my 'relationship' (it was only in my head) the Lord placed a group of girls for me to share my testimony with. He continues to give me a platform and although I am very thankful I never would have guessed I would have been here nor have I asked for the platform. I am only 18 and while many of the girls God has sent my way are my age some are older and younger as well.

I have told so many people about your book and tonight will be finishing a girls bible study where we went through your book chapter by chapter discussing how we can apply the principles to our lives.

I am continuing to find that purity is not a black and white concept but that you have to have an open mind about it and if not you miss out on the greatest ministry and learning opportunities. I am continuing to ask people around me, who have gone through relationships, for advice. Gathering information so that I am equipped for when the day comes for me. In fact I have already had to explain to a few young men that I do not date although they looked at me funny I feel again that they Lord used it to minister to the young men. I've also found so much freedom by sharing with my parents little things, even though it was hard at first.

Again thank you so much for the encouragement you have already given!"

Emotional Purity was first published 11 years ago and it blows my mind that God is still using it to challenge and encourage young men and women!

To God be the glor

Friday, May 25, 2012

05/25/12 - The Voice of God

Yesterday I started Discerning the Voice of God, by Priscilla Shirer. As I read it reminded me of advice I've given young women who are single.

I am often asked, "How do you know God's will in regard to marriage?"

Lately my reply has been, "Learn to hear and know the 'voice' of God in your life. He speaks to each of us differently and when you can hear His voice, that assurance will be the guide to follow the green light or stop if there's a red light (or red flags!)."

This book is what I'd recommend if you want to know the different ways that God "speaks". 

If you are single you have a chance to get to know God with an undivided heart and attention. Take FULL advantage of that! When life gets busier, and noisier (with kids ;-) ) you'll know how He gets your attention and you'll be able to hear His voice over the noise of life! 

Cultivate a deep, intimate relationship with your Creator! Ask Him to make Himself known to you in a new, fresh, powerful way today! 

Praying for you today! Hugs!

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

05/22/12 - Audience of One

Lately that phrase "audience of One" has played over and over in my head.

Being misunderstood, criticized, words twisted, mistreated, or slandered for speaking the truth can be painful. We may want to retreat. We may want to defend. We may want to clarify.

But those are all reactions to having the fear of man.

We must not worry what others think of us.

Yes, we should engage and dialog but our goal isn't to satisfy their tickling ears, but please the One that really matters.

Galatians 1:10 For am I seeking the approval of man or of God?

Live, breathe, and move for the audience of One!

Monday, May 21, 2012

05/21/12 - Clinging

What are you clinging too?
Are you clinging to rules to keep your way pure?
Are you clinging to fear?
Are you clinging to control?
Are you clinging to pride?

We can cling to all of those things in the mask of being "pure".

But we should be clinging to the cross. Looking to the self-sacrificing work of Jesus on the cross.

Anytime we try to put man-made rules on being "righteous" we will fail!

We're warned about this in Colossians 2:20-23

20 If with Christ you died to the elemental spirits of the world, why, as if you were still alive in the world, do you submit to regulations— 21  “Do not handle, Do not taste, Do not touch” 22 referring to things that all perish as they are used)—according to human precepts and teachings? 23 These have indeed an appearance of wisdom in promoting self-made religion and asceticism and severity to the body, but they areof no value in stopping the indulgence of the flesh.

If you have no heart for purity and are "following" the rules, although they may appear wise, they will not address the idols of your heart!

Get the heart of purity. Where Christ is!

Monday, May 14, 2012

05/14/12 - It's a LIE!

Friends, have we bought the lie?

The lie that says that in order to be happy we have to focus on self? We have to become a better us? We have to seek our own identity. 

See our culture breeds this mindset. It says we have to get for ourselves that which no one else will give us! 

This is simply NOT TRUE!

As believers in God we are called to lay it all down at the foot of the cross. We are called to let God direct our steps. We are called to live our lives crucified with Christ. We're called to deny self! We are called to be God-centered, not me-centered. 

But too many of us believers have bought the lie. Thus we spin our wheels, seeking to make us happy, and to maintain our own personal identity! 

Friends this is a lie!

We are called to seek the cross, to live for Him, to develop for His glory, to reflect Him in EVERYTHING we do, and to not be self-seeking at all!

And want to know what's amazing? That when we seek to please Him above all: He gives us the deepest desires of our heart! He gives us our identity. He brings us deep joy and happiness!

Beloved friends please don't listen to the lie! 

Friday, May 11, 2012

05/11/12 - Slammed Door

As I reflect back over the years of walking with Christ I've realized I've had a few slammed doors. 

The first one I can really remember was in 1997. I had applied for a job with Focus on the Family. It was a perfect fit for me and on paper I had everything they would have been looking for. But I didn't even get an interview! Slam!

My other option, at the time, was to move back home with my parents. It was from my time at home that I had the time and freedom to write Emotional Purity.

As the saying goes, "hindsight is 20/20"!

I've had other slammed doors along the way, but every time those slammed doors lead to an open door that is FAR better than had I walked or pushed my way through the slammed door.

I am thankful for slammed doors...they are normally a sign that God has something much better for me than I could have thought or imagined.

Maybe you've had a slammed door recently: a job, a relationship, a college acceptance, a ministry opportunity, or a host of other things could have slammed in your face. Maybe you're reeling with frustration and lots of questions!  

But keep obey God, keep your heart pure, keep seeking Him above, keep reflecting His glory, and watch how His plan, His open door is far better than that slammed door in your past!

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

05/09/12 - Facebook Page

I've been trying to interact with my readers on a more daily basis on the Emotional Purity Facebook page. I'd love if you'd join me over there and interact with me as we run hard after Christ together!

I will still blog, but these days...with homeschooling the boys, being a wife, the newlywed ministry we're doing, hospitality, and other ministry opportunities...I just don't have as much time to blog. 

Thursday, April 26, 2012

04/25/12 - Only Christ

My mom posted this on Facebook and thought it was worth sharing!

We need Christ! Not relaxation, not chocolate, not chatting with friends, not crafting, not shopping, not more sleep, not a better husband, not more involvement in ministry, not more money, not better children, not a diet, not a new car, not date night...not anything. Although all these things are good, enjoyable and a gift from God and His good will and pleasure towards us. What we need is Christ, resting in Him, time with Him, knowing who we are in Him, Christ alone!!

Friday, April 13, 2012

04/13/12 - OneCry

My heart is burning for revival! Revival in me, in my marriage, in my family, in my church, in my community, and in this nation.

Does your heart burn for revival? Then join a nation wide call to spiritual awakening called OneCry!

Will you join me in praying for revival?

Revive us Lord, and start with me!

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

04/10/12 - God's Ambassadors

In 1998 I visited a friend in New Jersey for a long weekend. We visited her church that Sunday morning and a group from Jews for Jesus were there. They gave a fascinating presentation of their ministry and the impact they were having for the gospel among Jews.

 After the presentation I went to speak to one of the young men. As he spoke to me I felt like he wasn't really interested in sharing any more with me. As we spoke he looked around at other people and just gave short answers. It just left me with an unpleasant taste in my mouth.

 Later that Sunday night a group of the singles from my friends church went downtown New York to a swing dance club. This man from Jews for Jesus came with us and spent the night flirting with and eventually making out with one of the single girls from my friends church.

 Here 14 years later I still remember this event...why, because for 14 years I've had a bad taste in my mouth for the ministry of Jews for Jesus.

 On Good Friday a man from Jews for Jesus came to do a presentation at our city wide service. It was then that this memory flooded my mind of my trip to New York. I realized that for all these years when I think of Jews for Jesus, I think of this young man.

He was an ambassador for the ministry. We're God's ambassadors. We're to represent Him to those around us. Yes, I realize this young man may not have realized the impact he was having on me...but do we ever know the full impact of our actions with others?

 If we're the only Christ followers someone comes in contact with, what will they think of God? What will they think of His ambassadors? Will we leave a "bad taste" for Christians in their memory?

 Let us always be mindful that we are God's ambassadors! We're called to represent Him to all we come in contact with. Only through His Spirit can we shine His light to those we meet. Let us make much of Him!

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

03/27/12 - Thinking Like a Christ Follower

‎"Take captive every thought to the obedience of Christ" 2 Cor. 10:5
"Set your mind on things above" Col. 3:2
"Prepare your minds for action." 1 Peter 1:13

Christ cares about our thoughts. He cares about what we think about.

Have you re-calibrated your thoughts to that of Christ? Do you filter your thoughts through a Christian worldview?

Have you allowed the Holy Spirit to illuminate anything you're letting in your mind and point out if this will lead you down the path of sin or holiness?

Fix your mind on Christ...give satan no room to taunt you with lies!

Friday, March 16, 2012

03/16/12 - Walking in the Light

1 John 1:7: If we walk in the Light as He Himself is in the Light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus His Son cleanses us from all sin.

This verse has just gone round and round in my mind. What a revival verse!

If we walk in the Light...if we walk without hidden sin. If we walk without shadows of sin in our life. If we walk in honest, open, transparency with those we're closest too, God says we'll have fellowship.

We'll have a closeness that comes from walking without secrets.

Then, once we walk with the "walls down with others and the roof off with God" we have the promise of a cleansing!!!

Thursday, March 15, 2012

03/15/12 - The Porn Path

My heart is deeply burdened for young men who get trapped in the pull of porn. Over the last month or so I've studied more the effects of porn on men. It's mind blowing when you realize that viewing porn creates a chemical reaction in your brain that is very similar to drugs.

In The Porn Path, Mark Driscoll lays out the way the brain produces a pathway to desire porn. It becomes an addiction that one must see more or do more to get the same high. So it may start off very innocently, but grows overtime.

An addiction to porn will destroy marriages, if one stays on the path.

Even if a man breaks his addiction those images are there, burned in the brain. It is poison in a marriage. It breaks the oneness a man and woman are to experience.

There are groups, such as Celebrate Recovery, that are there to help Christian men break their sexual addiction.

Break the silence, reach out for help, and don't stop until you're walking in the light with your sin.

Confess to your wife, ask your husband...get painfully honest with this topic. An addiction to porn may be a "fox in your vineyard" of your marriage. It may be the tumor that is killing your marriage. It may be in stage one of cancer, but will grow to stage four!

Get radical to get sin out of your life! Get some strong accountability and walk in fellowship with others who will hold you up!

If you're a young man the internet is a big pool of temptation...get some accountability by installing some type of program that alerts another person when you've visited porn on your computer. Parents, put up some safeguards on your computers.

Parents also be aware that the newest fade in relationships is young women sending naked pictures to their boyfriends! I heard of a case where a good, Christian, 13 year old girl was just caught sending a naked picture of herself to a boy at school.

Please don't bury your head in the sand. We must take a stand against porn and save future marriages!

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

03/14/12- Intentionality in Priorities

Your husband calls you, “Honey, we’re moving in a month and we only have a truck that is 10 feet by 10 feet to take all our stuff in!” After you get over the shock of his words, you start packing, with great care, what will fit in that 10x10 truck.

Do you think you’d take those college text books that are 14 years old? Would those old prom dresses come with?

Chances are you’d start with what is important. You’d take the things that are of the highest priorities. And with extra space take things less important.

Each day we wake up with about 12 to 15 hours to accomplish what needs to be done: caring for children, keeping up with a house, cultivating a relationship with God, maintaining a healthy marriage, ministry, friends, mental down time, exercise, work, and a host of other things scream at us: “I am of TOP priority!!! Focus on ME!”

If we’re not intentional with what are the top priorities for us, in the season of life we’re in, we’ll feel like we’re trying to cram everything into a 10x10 space. We’ll be left frustrated, exhausted, and defeated. However, when you write out the top 5 things in your life that are of highest priorities, make sure those things happen and then fit in whatever else you can, you will feel like you’re able to get done those things of most important to you!

Take some time and write out what would be your top 5 priorities (may have to do this daily or weekly), fit those in your calendar, and don’t stress (too much) about the rest!

Friday, March 9, 2012

03/09/12 - True Woman Testimony

In 2008 I attended my first True Woman conference. I was excited because of the speakers, but I had no idea how God would use that weekend to set me on a new path in my walk with Christ.

October 9, 2008, my 34th birthday, and the first night of the conference. If you would have asked me before I went, I would have told you that I wasn’t a feminist. I would have said that I’ve embraced biblical womanhood…but when Mary Kassian spoke on Friday morning it rocked my thinking!

I was a feminist! The culture had infiltrated my mind way more that I cared to admit. God had some foundational repair to do in my thinking.

At the end of the weekend I was more than thrilled to sign the True Woman Manifesto and with gusto I took this message back to my church and girlfriends. (I even laminated my manifesto and it still is hung next to my kitchen sink!)

But I found out that most my friends weren’t interested in my approach. I felt like I was hitting brick walls and eventually just got frustrated with even trying to talk about biblical womanhood. (Insert Heather not following the Holy Spirit!!)

By the time True Woman 2010 rolled around I was beyond excited to meet with other like minded women. I was longing for deep fellowship with other sisters, and that’s just what I got.

But that weekend God had plans to take what He was doing even deeper in my life. He was ready to peel back another layer and dig even deeper into my heart and attitude.

Nancy Leigh DeMoss had just come from her cousin’s funeral. Nancy showed a picture of her cousin and shared that at the funeral the line to visit the family was hours long. She explained that her cousin didn’t have a big platform, but lived out biblical womanhood with her husband and sons. That impacted me greatly!

Then Holly Elliff said, during the panel, that we’re busy doing things, but are we busy doing the things God has called us to do?

Those were two of the most impactful moments at True Woman 2010.

I walked away knowing just want God wanted me to do: just do it. Just live out biblical womanhood with my husband and sons. To be a true woman in my home for an audience of one, the One that really matters.

A couple of weeks later I was listening to a podcast with Mary Kassian talking to Bob Lapine about The Art of Marriage (a do-it-yourself DVD marriage conference by FamilyLife Today).

After looking over the website, praying about it, and talking to our pastors, my husband and I hosted an Art of Marriage conference. That stirred in us a desire to do marriage ministry.

Here a year later we have a newlywed ministry at our church were God has asked us to pour into the lives of 5 newlywed couples. These couples are watching our life, our marriage, and our family. They are watching us live out biblical manhood and womanhood.

I smile as I think how God had to rearrange my heart, my attitude, and my ideas. He was so tender and gracious with me. His patience is priceless! What a mighty God we serve!

So this is why I am beyond excited to talk about True Woman 2012. If you want God to pick you up, put you on a new path, and do a new work in your heart, then plan on joining me in Indianapolis in September of 2012 for True Woman 2012! I can’t wait to see what God has for me next!

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

03/06/12 - Justification/Sanctification

Justification happens once and is sudden. (Salvation in trusting Christ alone for the forgiveness of your sins. Knowing that Christ paid the judgement for your sins.)

Sanctification is on going and won't end till heaven. (It's the sandpaper on the areas that displeases or dishonors God. The growing into Christ-likeness process)

Just because you are justified, doesn't mean you won't struggle. We're all in being set apart and sanctified for His glory!

Monday, March 5, 2012

03/05/12 - True Woman 2012

In 2008 I went to True Woman 2008 in Chicago. I had no idea how much that conference would radically change my life. The 3 day conference was packed full to teaching, prayer, and ended with a call to live out being God's true woman in my life.

In 2010 I went to True Woman 2010 in Fort Worth. Again God used that conference to continue to refine me, change me, grow me, and strip me of more of myself. I left there feeling even more convicted to live out biblical womanhood in my life, in my home first and foremost!

I am beyond excited to got to True Woman 2012 in Indianapolis September 20-22, 2012.

I want to invite you to prayerfully consider coming! The theme is: Seeking Him Together for Spiritual Awakening. You will be challenged, encouraged, and renewed! For some of you it may take a few months to pull together the resources to go, this is why I am sharing this in March. If you decide to go, let me know! I'd love to meet you!

Sunday, March 4, 2012

Thursday, March 1, 2012

03/01/12 - Texting

I recently had a conversation with a concerned friend, she said, "Well my friend's husband has been texting this gal he does his workouts with. They text all hours of the day and night."

My heart sank!

In the last couple of weeks I've been walking closely with friends walking through some very serious marriage issues.

The word picture God gave me was cancer. See my friends are in stage 4 cancer. Honestly, I don't know if it is terminal or not, but I have hope that God will heal. Years of this festering cancer has lead them to this painful, messy place in their marriage. God has done surgery and now they are having kemo and radiation. It's painful!

But it started like the first couple...just a misstep in the wrong direction, stage one cancer. Hopefully my friend will be able to speak truth in love to her friend and they will get the help they need before their cancer is stage 4.

When I talk about guarding your heart for marriage it's more than not dating or being legalistic in your approach. My heart cries for you to embrace purity because once you are married you will have to continue to fight and guard your marriage for the glory of God.

Satan is out to kill and destroy marriages! If you're not preparing for the battle before marriage...he may blindside you once marriage.

Saturday, February 25, 2012

02/25/12 - Pulling off the Masks

I'll never forget talking to her more than two years ago. She poured out her heart of her unhappy marriage. She had been unhappy for a long time.

Then she said, "No one at my church knows this. We all walk around on Sunday like we're so happy and nothing is wrong."

Why? I mean why do we keep up the masks in the one place we should feel the safest?

When you have hidden pain or secret sins you will drift towards isolation. You will think you are the only one with this pain. You will think you're the only one who struggles with this certain sin.

You know you're not alone! Satan wants us to drift towards isolation. He wants us to retreat. He wants to keep those masks up because he knows when the masks come down, revival can begin!

Please pull your mask off! Get honest with yourself, with God, and with others!! Don't let satan win!

Friday, February 24, 2012

02/24/12 - Complete Surrender

I've had this thought: If a complete stranger came into my home and looked through every corner of my house, every computer file, every journal, every movie, every CD, every cabinet, every drawer, every email, every text message, pretty much anywhere and everywhere in my house...would they see Jesus?

I sure hope everything in my life is consistent with the fact that I call myself a follower of Christ.

Now let me clarify something...I don't want my life to be pure so others look at me. I want my life to honor God and I want complete surrender of everything in light of the grace and truth of the cross.

What someone can't see if my even if the externals are all purified, if I harbor bitterness, anger, greed, jealousy, envy, or anything other attitude that displeases God, who cares what someone sees in my house.

I am crying out to God for complete surrender of my heart, my mind, my life, my will. Let revival come and let it start with me!!

(A book that has brought more of this to my own thinking is "Surrender" By Nancy Leigh DeMoss)

Saturday, February 18, 2012

02/18/12 - Young Man's Perspective

Recently I had a conversation with a young man about his future wife. He shared how he's been realizing how awesome it would be to be married. To have someone he could share his whole life with. A best friend, lover, confident, and someone who would point him more to Christ.

His perspective was a breath of fresh air to me!

In another conversation I had with a young man about his girlfriend I asked him, "Well, how serious are you with her?" He said, "At this point she's low maintenance and makes me happy. It's good for me now."

Do you see the sharp contrast in these two young men? One is looking at self, the other sees the true beauty of a helpmate created by God for him.

Praying my sons take on the mindset of the first young man in this culture that needs men to step up, set self aside, and be servant leaders of their homes!

Friday, February 17, 2012

02/17/12 - WinePress Publishers

All updates at the bottom of post!

I would like to offically cut all ties to my first publisher "WinePress Publishers". I regrettably write this blog post because WinePress has yet to remove my name from their success story, so I would like to cut ties publicly with them, since they won't remove my name after three times of me asking them to.

When I first published my book, Athena Dean was the owner and operator of WinePress. Athena was an amazing publisher! I am so thankful that our paths crossed.

Last year Athena cut ties with WinePress and the church that now operates WinePress: Sound Doctrine. If you would like to read Athena's story you can at: Not Afraid to Tell my Story

When Athena contacted me on Januray 11, 2012 I sent an email to WinePress asking them to remove my "success story" from their website because of a pending lawsuit.

Malcolm Fraser wrote me back on Janurary 12, 2012 stating:
Greetings Heather,

Thanks for your message.

WinePress is not currently involved in any lawsuit, nor are we aware that one has been filed. Apparently, you have received information regarding one that is pending. I'd appreciate it if you could let me know what you've heard and how you came to hear about it so that we can deal with any issues in a Biblical manner.

It appears that some false information may be at the source of some unfortunate gossip, so I'd be very careful about believing the first thing you hear on such matters. Doing justice to WinePress would be to let us know the specifics and details of what you've been told, and allowing us the opportunity to respond.

Malcolm Fraser
Executive Officer"

On January 16th WinePress released a rebuttal to the accusations from Athena, which stated: "However, in light of the threat of a pending "lawsuit," our attorney has advised us to provide a specific rebuttal. Therefore, we are including the following facts – which are fully documented and verifiable – to address the main points of Athena's accusations"

You can read their entire rebuttal here:

As of posting this blog the first date on the rebuttal was January 16th. So Mr. Fraser accused me of having false information on January 12th. But just 4 days later, on advice from their lawyer, they wrote a rebuttal. So Mr. Fraser is asking me to believe that on January 12th they had no idea what Athena had accused them of.

Yes, the lawsuit had not been filed, but he twisted his words making me believe he knew nothing of what Athena was going to do.

I contacted Mr. Fraser again on February 9th asking him again to remove my story from their website. Stating that if I had known Athena was no longer in charge I would have removed my name and I believe Sound Doctrine is a cult and wouldn't like to be associated with them or WinePress.

Yesterday I received a letter from WinePress stating:

"I am sorry to hear that you don't wish to deal with the false accusations against WinePress in a biblical manner."

If you'd like to see the whole letter I'd be happy to email it to you.

They also sent me a copy of Timothy Williams book "The Gospel and Gossip".

After this letter I received, I emailed Mr. Fraser again asking him to remove my name.

This issue with Athena Dean and WinePress has been very public. I am sharing both sides and do not feel that this is gossip.

I write this again because WinePress has yet to remove my story from their success story. I am thankful for Athena Dean in helping me publish the first edition of Emotional Purity!

UPDATE: An email, dated February 20th, after another attempt for WinePress to remove my story, Malcolm Fraser said, "Concerning your success story, we have removed what we are legally obligated to remove." Which, if you look at their site, there is all my info about my Success Story, but the pictures of my book covers are not there. This is very sad to me.

UPDATE March 21, 2012: Latest with Malcolm Fraser (they still haven't removed my name from their site)

UPDATE: March 23, 2012: I've once again tried to remove contact with WinePress and once again had a very frustrating set of email exchanges with someone there. Here's the latest on Malcolm Fraser:

Again I want no contact or association with WinePress Publishers!

02/17/12 - Another Marriage Post

After 12 years of marriage Sam and Kathy sit at a resturant with hardly a word crossing their lips.

Kathy plays with her salad and shifts in the hard seat.

Sam checks his phone and replies to a text message.

When he sets his phone down Kathy mentions that Tommy, their 10 year old son, has a ball game that Saturday. Sam asks when, and then checks his phone to see his calendar.

They go back to silence as the main dish is served.

Kathy wonders, "How did we get here? This man is a stranger."

Most evenings at home Sam and Kathy hardly talk, so this "date night" isn't that different. Sex is pretty infrequent, maybe 1 time every other month. They watch TV when they eat dinner and most nights they are running one of their 3 children to a sporting, school, or church event.

Their church friends have no idea that they are just living as roommates. Even some of Kathy's closest friends haven't gotten past the smile she puts on to know the loneliness she feels. Her heart aches. Secretly she is addicted to romance novels and soap operas. The fantasy land in her mind allows her to numb the pain and rejection she feels. But that pain goes back to high school when a boy she liked physically went too far with event she's never shared with Sam.

Sam, well, he's pretty disconnected emotionally from the family. He figures he is the bread-winner, so he's providing for his family. Work is stressful, church commitments keep him busy, and he likes to play basketball on the weekends with his buddies from church. He figure he works all week and the weekends are "his" time. No one knows that he's lost really all interest in his wife. "Taking care of himself" is easier than connecting with Kathy, she never really liked to be physically intimate with him he figures he's doing her a favor. His world pretty much revolves around him.

They both wonder privately, "How did we get here and how do we get back to where we were?"

(This story is NO ONE I know!!! Just patterns I've seen.)


Does this sound familiar?

When couples get married, they don't set out to be strangers 12 years down the road.

But they don't set out to be intentional in their marriage either!

So there's one mis-step...maybe a deep hurt that is never addressed, or a hidden secret that one is unwilling to share. It could be that children start to consume their time and they forget to take time for their marriage. Or maybe a childhood pain is "buried", but impacts the emotional well-being of one of them. It's easier to let TV, computers, ministry, friends, other activities, or work be more important than connecting with their mate. Or maybe there's some tension in the marriage that overtime becomes just an elephant in the room.

Whatever the mis-step, whatever the misunderstand, whatever the pain...the brick wall is built. Brick by brick the couple builds a tall, thick wall between them. They don't talk, they resent, they get mad, they seethe, they may try but don't understand each they stop trying. They turn on "cruise control" thinking, "If we just stay busyness enough we don't have to deal with this marriage."

Then it's easier to just be self-focused so they don't tap into the pain they're causing. It's easier to stay disconnected than take energy to focus on their mate.

But does this resemble Christ and His Bride, the Church, at all!?

God created marriage to share the gospel, yet we've twisted marriage and the beauty of the covenant into a self-serving union. We look to be "happy" and to have our needs met. We've let satan sell us the lie that busyness is the norm. We don't remain teachable, so we get stuck in our pattern of treating each other as roommates and not as husband and wife.

These patterns I have seen have welled up in me a passion so deep...a passion for God-honoring, Christ-centered, Holy Spirit-filled marriages where the husband and wife are serving one another selflessly. A marriage that screams the gospel to all who come in contact with this couple!

A marriage that thrives requires revived hearts to be directed under the mighty hand of God, where there is no thought of self, only the promotion of the gospel!

The man would be the servant leader in his home, willing to be teachable and be 100% emotionally and spiritually plugged into his wife and kids. Where his number 1 goal is to protect and provide, not just physically, but emotionally and spiritually. His thought life is pure and there is not a hint of immorality. He lives with no hidden sin and full of integrity!

The wife would willing serve her family selflessly, being the helpmate she was created to be. She would embrace biblical womanhood and the freedom that comes from that. She would know that she sets the emotional tone of her home, so she would be intentional to work through past pains and hurts, so she is emotionally free to lavish love on her family. She is a life giver to all she comes in contact with.

If more non-believers saw these types of marriages...the more hands-on the gospel would seem! But when they see no difference, what is the need for a Savior?

Thursday, February 16, 2012

02/16/12 - Sanctification and Grace

Last night we thought it would be fun to watch the movie we saw on our first date. We got our snacks, pop, blankets, and turned on the movie. Within a minute or two my husband said, "We saw this on our first date?"

I said, "Yeah, what were we thinking?"

After about 5 minutes we turned the movie off and threw it away.

We both were a bit amazed that we would have gone to see that movie. It was fill with sex, drinking, murder, swear words, and scantily dressed women. (Mind you this is a PG-13 movie we saw and no I won't share the name...just say it was a very popular movie when we started dating nine years ago and that many went to see this movie).

Then God reminded us of His grace and sanctification! What wasn't that "raunchy" to us 9 years ago, repulsed us now! I wish I could say that 9 years ago we walked out of that movie theater, but I am not the same person I was then. God is growing us, changing us, pruning us, and may He continue to do so!

Have you ever noticed that something that once was acceptable to you, now repulses you?

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

02/14/12 - Criticism

When someone is critical of me, or openly criticizes me how I respond is not an indication of their perception of me, it is an indication of the level of pride in my heart.

Here's a good quiz to see how much pride is in your heart: 41 Evidences of Pride

This list is one of those ouch moments I've had many times. But the more I cling to God's grace, the more I beg for Him to sanctify me, the more I am able to embrace the criticism as God's gift (yes sandpaper on the heart is a gift!)

Monday, February 13, 2012

02/13/12 - Valentine's Day

Does this holiday sorta make your stomach churn? Another year, lonely, and dateless?

Yes, you can take this holiday and have yourself a good old pity party! You can get together with your other single friends and lament your sad state of singleness OR you can get radical and do something to lift your attitude.

Can I challenge you to serve a marriage within your church family or family? Yes, that's right...serve! Look outside yourself tomorrow and selfless serve through babysitting, giving a gift card for a couple to go out to eat, provide a meal for a couple...just serve, 100% and with complete selflessness!

Trust me...I was a single till I was 28. I had plenty of Valentine pity parties and what a shame I wasted those days! I could have been a blessing to a couple and serve their marriage. I was just upset they had something I wanted. How narrow minded of me and completely selfish!!

If you want a happy, satisfying marriage someday the number 1 quality you will want is selflessness...why not start today learning more how to set "self" aside and serve!

Friday, February 10, 2012

02/10/12 - Quick to Listen

Lately that verse in James: Be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to get angry (James 1:19), has been repeating over and over and over in my head.

Often times we do just the opposite: we're quick to speak and slow to listen.

What would change in your daily interactions if you were quick to listen? Quick to see both sides of an argument. Quick to not jump to conclusions. Quick to not judge, but gather facts.

May I be quicker to listen and slower to speak today!

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

02/08/12 - Marriage Post

I know many of my readers are not married yet, but I recently wrote an article for a MOPS newsletter called: Intentional Marriage.

I hope this encourages you, whether married or single.

Intentional Marriage

Do you remember the first time you laid eyes on your husband? Do you remember what you wore on the first date? Do you remember your first kiss with him? When is the last time you and your husband talked about the story of your courtship? When is the last time you had a date?

When we’re up to our necks in poopy diapers, dirty dishes, paying bills, “projects”, and life, one area that can quickly be put on the back burner is our marriage. God has stirred in my heart a passion for marriage! To see people have deeply satisfying, God-honoring marriage, not just roommate-type marriage.

But this type of marriage doesn’t come naturally. Actually if we aren’t intentional in our marriages we will drift towards isolation and loneliness. This summer I will celebrate my 9th anniversary with my husband, so I’ve just begun to learn about marriage, but I want to share some of the things we’ve done to protect our marriage and fully enjoy the oneness God designed for marriage!

1)We have a place that is our marriage sanctuary. This “place” is our bedroom! It’s a kid-free zone. There’s no pictures of them or toys. Hanging on the walls are pictures of us and tell the story of our love! We have been intentional to keep this place special and sacred for us to connect there!

2)We pray together daily!

3)There’s no topic off limits for discussion. We’ve cultivated a marriage where we can openly discuss any issues and share our thoughts openly and freely. This, of course, means laying aside pride so we can share without getting defensive. (To some this is very difficult, especially if they come from a family that never talked about important emotional issues.)

4) We've asked another couple to be our “blind spot” friends. Basically they have the “right” to ask us anything and we share freely with them any arguments or mis-understandings we’ve had. We try to get together with them two times a month to make sure we’re “doing” life with them. They pray for us and there’s nothing hidden from them. We’re trying to live as honestly and transparently with this couple to avoid any pitfalls that may be in our blind spot. This has taken a great deal of intentionality, with both couples!

5)We’re always working towards oneness. John and I try to evaluate what we’re doing through the question: Does this cause us to have oneness? This can include: ministry, work, hobbies, TV watching habits, vacations, extra-curricular activities, how we spend money, church involvement, raising our boys, and even bedtime. The more we keep this question in the front of our thinking, the more we’re able to filter out what is important to our marriage. (Oneness is not sameness.)

6)An important aspect of protecting our marriage has been dealing with our own emotional “junk”. This may not sound like a way to protect our marriage, but knowing that we’ve worked through and dealt with emotional pain allows us both to feel freedom in this area. (If you’re wondering if you’ve worked through stuff, ask “Can I openly talk about this past issue or pain?”)

7)We go out of our way to laugh together! Laughter is like a cold drink of water on a hot summer day!

8)John and I don’t communicate with members of the opposite sex without the other knowing about it. For example, if I send an email to a male, I BCC John so he sees every communication going from me to a male. This is one way to not allow even a shadow to creep into our marriage! We also don’t spend any one-on-one time with a member of the opposite sex! (This type of openness also includes full access to any and all password protected accounts we may have separately.)

Again, my passion is to see marriage thrive! Not just my marriage, but your marriage as well! I pray these help you find new ways to be intentional in your marriage!

Monday, February 6, 2012

02/06/12 - Blind Spot Friends

Do you have a friend in your life who you have given permission to share any blind spot they may see in you?

We all have blind spots. We all have spiritual and emotional areas in our lives that are hard for us to see.

Part of being in the family of God is allowing people close enough to see those blind spots and share them with you.

My husband and I have invited another couple to be these blind spot friends to us (and vice versa). We've had to be intentional in sharing our lives, our struggles, our past, and our hearts with each other.

Don't think you don't have a blind do! So seek a close friend (of the same sex or a couple if you are married), pull down the masks, and let them be "iron sharpening iron" in your life!

Proverbs 27:6 Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses.

Tuesday, January 31, 2012

01/31/12 - Being A Friend

If you were a friend to yourself, would you like yourself or not?

Let me put it this way: Are you the type of friend to other people that you would want?

Do you encourage, support, spur on in love, hold accountable, do life with others, and comfort your friends?

Or do you find friends that fill a gap you need? Do you base your friendships on what you can get from it, not what you can give to it?

What type of friend do you want to be and what can you do to become that friend?

Saturday, January 28, 2012

01/28/12 - Daily Bible Reading

One of the spiritual disciplines we as Christ followers should be striving towards, is daily bible reading.

Honestly, writing the word "striving" makes it seem like the disciple of daily bible reading is within our power. Quite frankly it's not! In our flesh we're unable to please God.

When you are plugged into the power of the Holy Spirit reading your bible daily becomes a pure delight! You long for those times and look forward to what God is going to say to you out of His love letter!

Whenever anyone is just getting started in the disciple of daily bible reading I encourage them to start with the Proverbs of the day. So today someone would read Proverbs 28. This at least gets someone in the habit of daily reading.

In different seasons of my life I've had to change up how I "do" quiet time and I'd like to share a few different ways I've grown this muscle of daily bible time.

When I was single I could spend a day reading, fasting, and praying. I could feast on God's Word for hours at a time. Those times were so precious to me and I would encourage any single to use this season to feast, get to know the Word, and fall in love with God and His Word!

Since I've been married my quiet times have gone through different seasons. I've had to adjust with what is going on around me and what is required of me.

When the demands of my time were the greatest (during the newborn stage and having two boys 15 months apart) my quiet time was pretty much whatever I could get in throughout the day. I left my bible in places I could easily grab and to my nursing chair, in the van, in the kitchen, in the bathroom.

I also printed up verses and posted them above my kitchen sink. This way I was filling up, albeit nibbles, on God's Word.

As the boys have gotten older I am entering a new season of what quiet time looks like. At times I am able to turn on piano worship music, have a couple of different translations of the bible with me, a journal, and a pen. I read a passage, I read the footnotes, I read it in the other translation,I may read a commentary, and I journal.

This year I am going through the book of Psalms.

I've also taken a chunk of scripture and read it over and over and over for months. For example last year I read the sermon on the mount for 8 months.

You may even want to read the entire bible. Cover to cover is a great way to read the Word, but also reading it chronologically helps give one a different perspective of the bible.

My husband will go to and read the verse of the day. Then he'll read that entire chapter. This is one way for him to get some reading in at work.

Of course we're going to all have different times, different ways, and different methods to reading our bible...the the same should be that we're ingesting God's Word daily!

What do you do for your quiet time?

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Thursday, January 26, 2012

01/26/11 - Things Done in Secret

"Satan wants us to sneak things in secret. Things hidden and done in secret clues in the father of darkness into our weaknesses and open the door for him to assault us with targeted schemes." Lysa TerKeurst Made to Crave

If we fool ourselves to think what we do in secret is safe, we're wrong. It just opens us up for going deeper into sin and farther away from God. "Roof off with God, walls down with others".

Declare today as the day you getting painfully honest with yourself, God, and others with whatever your secret struggle is! You'll find freedom and will be the first step to a revived heart!

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

01/24/12 - Getting Real

Have you seen the video "Why I Hate Religion, but Love Jesus"

There's been plenty written about this...what he said wrong and how he could have said it better. I've appreciated his mature, teachable, humble response to critics.

But the message I know he wants to get across is we need authentic Christianity!

We need people who live what they say. We need people who live transparently. We need people who say what they do, and do what they say.

I agree with him in the plea to live authentic Christian lives. You see Christians acting like the world and it's sickening. They have one foot in the culture and one foot in the door at church.

We have to be intentional about purging hidden sin from our lives. We have to avoid the things of the world that are rubbish in our thinking. We've got to tear down the masks that keep us at arm-length from God's people. We've got to forgive and have true reconciliation with those in our lives. We have to allow people to get close enough to be "iron sharpening us". We must saturate our minds with God's Word so we can fight the battle.

Don't sit on the sidelines. Don't play Christian. Don't go to church on Sunday and live the other 6 days for yourselves. Don't dishonor what Christ did on the cross!

I hate false religion and people who play Christian and love Jesus!