Monday, April 18, 2011

04/18/11 - Leaving and Cleaving (part 2)

As soon as Eve was fashioned out of Adam's side, it says, "For this cause and man shall leave his father and mother and shall cleave to his wife, and they shall become one flesh." Gen. 2:24

Adam and Eve had no earthly parents, yet this is recorded as the beginning of marriage in the bible.

My parents recently went to a Weekend to Remember put on by FamilyLife today. My mom was sharing that one of the speakers was talking about the Old Testament covenant that God made with Abram in Genesis 15.

In the Old Testament the way people made a covenant with each other was to cut in half an animal and pass through together. In Genesis 15 God's Spirit passed through the halves of animals making a covenant with Abram.

The speaker went on to say that at a wedding you have the groom's family on one side and the bride's on another. The couple pass through creating a new covenant with one another. Laying aside the old bond with their families.

Interesting concept!

When a couple gets married they form a new team, a new family! This new family should be intentional about "cleaving" to one another, especially in that first year of marriage.

When issues rise, they turn to each other first.

When holiday plans need to be made, they do what's best for this new family unit.

When job decisions need to be calculated, they look towards one another.

When conflicts arise between them, they don't run to their original family unit for support (first).

They don't throw each other "under the bus" in front of anyone.

It's about making their needs and wants more important than anyone else's (including their own!)

They don't share private family issues with others.

They create a safe, refuge from the world.

Do I think this means the couple doesn't interact with family or engage the world? By no means! I am saying that a couple should be intentional in cleaving. In using emotional energy to form this new family.

But cleaving goes beyond what I shared above, it's about becoming one. We'll talk about that tomorrow.

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