Just recently I was thinking about posting my feelings on how wonderful kids have made my marriage.
Let me tell you about my line of thinking.
When we got married John and I were shocked at how negative people were. We'd hear things like, "Are you sure you want to? Those happy feelings don't last long." "Why would you want to give up your freedom?" "The 'honeymoon' won't last two weeks." And so on and so on. Only a handful of people we're positive.
We came to realize that most people just aren't happily married, thus reflect their own marriage in how they thought ours would be.
It was upsetting to hear Christian couples complain about their own marriages in a strange comment about us getting married.
John and I were determined to not have this attitude. We love being married. The happy feelings have not gone away, even after almost 6 years of marriage. Our first year of marriage was amazing, not dreadful. I've grown more in love with John than I thought was possible.
Then when we got pregnant comments didn't stop. If we thought the comments were bad when we got married, they got worse about having kids. People acted as if we were just committing ourselves to 18 years of pure misery.
Having kids is a sacrifice, but oh if I could begin to share how it has grown John and I closer, if I could share the pure joy of having children...I'd write a really long post.
Our marriage has been blessed having children. I believe the reason we see kids as a marriage builder and not a marriage hindrance, is our own willingness to be selfless. (No, we're not perfect and we both struggle with feelings of selfishness, but our prayer and desire is to be selfless with each other and our children.)
Having kids requires you to be totally selfless and if you cling to selfishness, you'll find yourself unsatisfied and frustrated having kids.
I hope you are encouraged to know having kids will not ruin your marriage, but, with the right attitude before the Lord, you can be very satisfied in your marriage with children.