I receive e-mails all the time from young women confused about the way a young man is treating her. One question I almost always receive is: When should I ask him what his intentions are?
There are a couple of factors that I believe should be involved in knowing when to ask what a guys intentions are.
First, is he treating you different than other single women. You may be friends with a guy who is just super friendly with all women and you could be reading his signals wrong.
I think of my friend Joe. Joe is just a nice guy. If he would call one girl to invite her to a gathering, he'd call 15 girls and guys. If he gave one girl a hug, he'd give all the girls and guys hugs. He is just a nice guy. A girl could easily mistake his friendliness as "liking" her, when in reality he was just being Joe.
So make sure he is really treating you different. When I asked my husband what his intentions were with me it was after 6 months of face to face friendship and he began to treat me very different than the other single women in our group of friends.
Second, I feel that having a green light from God is the most important thing. Let the Holy Spirit guide a conversation like this.
A conversation about intentions can come purely from manipulation or a need to "have" this guy and not from a real need to clarify the situation. Make sure your motives are pure.
I will say that there are other authors (who write about this subject) who feel that a girl should never say anything to a guy and should wait on him. If God has convicted you of this, then this is your answer. If God has given you the freedom to ask, then follow the Holy Spirits leading.
Maybe I just opened up a can of worms of other questions. Please send them my way and I'll try my best to give my thoughts.