In my past post I shared what were three items on my short list of non-negotiables, but I want to say that those were not the only thing I was looking for when picking a mate.
When you think of a bulls eye, that first inner ring would be those non-negotiables. Again, I don't believe this list should be long.
The second ring would be some of your top desires in a mate. Things that would be close to non-negotiable, but you would be willing to work with. As you work through your own list, they may include: sexual pure or not addicted to pornography.
Again as you move from your "must haves" (inner circle) to your "I'd love this crazy quality to be in my mate" (outer circle), think about what is really important.
Now, let me say, that my goal in posting these is to just get you thinking. Often when you find yourself in a relationship, you can't think as clearly and it's helpful to have this "list" in your head. You may notice that I believe those non-bendables are on the short list, and those totally bendables on the long list.
Often when people are asked, "What qualities do you want in a mate?" They say, "sense of humor" or "great personality". I want to help move you beyond those to examining deeper issues. Maybe some of you have done this, but my goal is to just be helpful!