Wednesday, August 27, 2008

08/27/08 - Modesty: An Act of Love

What is modesty?

I don't believe there is a "what to wear/what not to wear" list to what is modest. I believe that modesty is a condition of the heart and attitude.

Recently I was chatting with a friend (via e-mail) about modesty. She said, " I love the modesty survey that took place on the Rebelution site and I'd like to see a sweeping movement of its kind, one able to reveal modesty for the act of love that it really is, without impressing young Christian girls as judgmental or old fashioned."

The act of love, yes this is's an act of love.

I tend to think of everything in an emotional sense (hey I wrote a book on emotional purity right!?) Us women tend to be emotionally charged. Guys, well they are physically charged.

What do I mean by that? Well, a new handsome, single, solid Christian guy starts to visit your church. Before long the single girls have gotten the low down, are inviting him to events in hopes to get to know him better, and maybe even dreaming about being ask out on a date by him.

Or maybe you are friends with a guy and your mind is always in the "what-if" future. You're pondering what you name sounds like with his, your planning your kids names, your dreaming of vacations with him, you long for private time alone, and you just desire to get to know him better.

This is being emotionally charged. We desire emotional closeness with guys (and other women for that matter).

So guys are more physically charged. They don't think of what a girls name would sound like with his, but they tend to struggle more with being physically pure in his mind.

With this knowledge it's an act of love to treat each other with honor and not cause each other to stumble in our respective areas.

Guy need to be "emotionally modest", not leading a girl on, toying with her emotions, flirting, being vague, and overall causing her to being emotionally turned on!

If you take my post from three days ago about Formal Wear and think about it in this way. When a bride is immodest in her wedding dress, it would be compared to her new husband flirting with the bridesmaids at the reception. It would be appalling. But if her dress is causing any man to stumble, what's the difference?

What is modesty? It's an act of love for our fellow brothers and sisters in the Lord. Whether we're being emotionally modest or physically modest, we're thinking and caring about other people more than ourselves and that, my friend, is selfless love!


Nitchfield News said...

Good analogy at the end Heather - that was a real eye opening thought!

Anonymous said...

The more I learn about emotional purity, the more I see that it's very much a "girl version" of physical purity for guys.

About the analogy on wedding stuff though, I think that those are totally different, because one is intentional and the other isn't. The bride can wear a strapless dress and be totally committed and in love with and focused on her new husband, whereas a groom flirting with bridesmaids is not focused totally on, and sounds like one who should have reconsidered the whole marriage thing...

I mean, while they're similar struggles, isn't the heart more important? I guess I'm trying to make too many points in all this. I just don't see the analogy at the end working at all, because the heart behind both of those actions would be so completely different.

Heather Paulsen said...

I would have to say that flirting can be very unintentional. For some guys they just have no idea they are flirts.

I also think that being immodest can be very intentional. Some women are very purposeful in choosing an outfit that will gain attention.

I don't believe it's one or the other at all times.

LauraLee Shaw said...

Modesty as an act of love is an incredible thought and it gives me a whole lot to mull over...great insights.

Jadd said...

I'm sorry to be so demanding, but do you have any biblical basis for 'emotional purity'? All the stuff I've read and heard (which is not much, I admit) doesn't show how the Bible supports 'emotional purity'.

Heather Paulsen said...

Jadd...just wondering if you've read my book?