Thursday, June 12, 2008

06/12/08 - What Women Do (Part 3)

I know that a couple of you have had questions in this series of posts and I will answer them, but I want to cover two more things we women do: over analyze and have emotional fantasies!

Today will look at what does it mean to over analyze a situation. This was one of my metal mind wasters! Oh, a guy would do something and I'd begin to think, "Why did he do that? Does he like me? What does this mean? Could he be wanting to start a relationship with me?"...and on and on and on and on and on and on!

Then I ask my sisters or friends what they thought and I'd begin all over!

I wasted so much time thinking about what he did and I'd read into everything he was doing or saying. What I have found is guys general don't do this. But women can fall into this trap of spending way too much mental energy thinking about what a guy did or said.

There was a guy who heard me talk about women being a little obsessive with marriage, relationships, etc. And he asked, "Are all women so obsessed with this stuff?" I told him to take a poll! He came back a month or so later and said, "Yes, all women over think this marriage stuff!"

So what is it that makes us over think and over analyze?

Do we have a fear of not being married, so we think that by thinking about marriage and keeping it in the front of our thoughts it will happen? I believe that my main reason for over thinking was that I so desired the emotional affection of a young man I was looking for it outside of God's timing.

Why do you think women tend to over analyze a situation or an action by a young man?


Anonymous said...

This is exactly what I needed to hear today. I've been analyzing a whole handful of relationships at all stages recently and realize how distracted I have become.

To answer the question, personally I believe I analyze because I don't want to fall into the trap that any guy who treats me a certain way *must* be interested in me. Then I start to pick apart his actions and try to assign motives, which is actually quite dangerous! Short of an honest and open two-way conversation, speculation will get you nowhere fast!

Anonymous said...

One of the reasons I speculate is to "try on different guys for size". For example, I tend to think that I need to have a yes or no answer handy incase a given guy were to initiate a relationship with me... so, I fantasize about a relationship with them, to see where I stand ahead of time. Also, I have eliminated all the guys in my social circle this way, and then finding myself with no one in my life as a potential mate, I start all over; this time not having as high of standards... thinking that "chemistry" or whatever would be enough. Did that make sense? It is a very abstract's hard to put into words. Thanks for the blog, Heather!

Anonymous said...

Personally I think I overanaylyze because of a fear it won't work out. This is made even harder by the fact it is a long distance relationship and so I have a lot of time to think in between conversations.

Philippians 4:8 is a good reminder to think on that which is true.

RMS said...

I think we all have a fear that perhaps God doesn´t want us to be married...that He has another plan that, for whatever reason, being single is part of our cross to bear. All of these "what women do" actions seem to be a response to that, no? Surely it is possible, painful as it is, that God has a plan for some women to serve Him for life without a spouse?

Noelle said...

I know from experience that when I begin over-analyzing things, that's when I have taken the relationship out of God's hands, and put it back into mine. That's when it becomes something destructive. Not to mention the time and energy spent on trying to read his mind... which can be an impossible goal. :)

"Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding... in all your ways aknowledge HIM and HE will direct your paths." Prov. 3:5-6

Anonymous said...

"Why do you think women tend to over analyze a situation or an action by a young man?"

YES! I know I do. I know that it is wrong but it's sort of in me to do it. I guess that's why it is important to live a super-natural life not just a natural one.