Wednesday, June 11, 2008

06/11/08 - What Women Do (Part 2)

Flirt! Yes, we flirt!

We flirt for attention. We flirt for our egos. We flirt with our eyes. We flirt with our bodies. We flirt by what we wear. We flirt to make sure the boys look at us than the other girls. We flirt to feel good about ourselves. We flirt to fill an emotional need. We flirt!

Flirting can be as simple as a glace. But when I think of a flirt, I think of a young woman laughing really loudly, as she grabs the arm of the young man, then during a moment of catching her breath she glaces up his way with this look in her eyes. Or I think of a girl flipping her hair or walking in a certian way in the presents of young men.

Flirting is fun, within God's boundaries. Flirting should be apart of a healthy, committed relationship. It's a fun way of expressing love and adoration. But flirting for selfish pleasures is, well...selfish. We're not looking out for the interest of the other person, but we're looking to satisfy some emotional need within us.

What does flirting mean to you? Do you think it is a healthy way of getting a young man's attention?


MInTheGap said...

Flirting is tough. As it says in your book, a girl can take a guy's friendliness as something more. It takes seeing him with other people before a girl realizes that he's friendly with all.

And where's the line between friendly and flirting? It's a fine one at that.

Yes, flirting is fun, but you have to be careful on the sending and receiving end. You shouldn't be encouraging being on the receiving end of flirting if you're already spoken for.

Heather Paulsen said...

I think the line is the motive of the heart!

I think flirting should be within a committed relationship!

Thanks for the comment!

MInTheGap said...

I have a brother that's really "friendly" to the point that I believe he crosses the line-- he hasn't fully transitioned to married life in my opinion. But he's friendly with everyone, not just with a select few.

Me, I tend to be friendly and social, but I also am sensitive to make sure that I'm not forming a friendship with a girl that's not my wife.

There's that emotional attachment that's created when you start sharing with someone on that level-- it's just not wise.

I've found flirting to be tougher in a committed relationship with children-- but it is much more satisfying.

Heather Paulsen said...

Oh yes, so much tougher, esp. with kids! That made me smile! I know with two kids it's harder to remember to keep that flirting spark alive, but it is so much fun and satifying!

When we go on dates nights we make a point to not talk about the kids, but focus on each other...that helps.

I knew/know guys who are super friendly, but like you said they are that way with everyone not just a select few. It's a tough issue, but one I believe we must be aware of!

MInTheGap said...

So what's your secret into getting regular time away? We have three children, and about the only time we get away is when family (which live 30 mins away) watch the kids-- and we hate to impose.

Small church, even smaller number of qualifying girls for babysitting.

Heather Paulsen said...

My sister and I swap babysitting. Once a month we have date night and then every Tue. we rotate, she takes the kids one week, I take them the next.

It works out well to have a sister so close. I know it's hard to find a good sitter, but it may be helpful to swap babysitting with another family. Plus the kids love to be able to have other kids to play with.

We also tend to go out like Sat. afternoon, this way were home for bedtime. With little ones it's so important to remember the fun you have as just a couple!

Does you family tell you they are imposed or do you just feel that they'd feel that way? I know I used to think that way, but I've found that family (if not over used) enjoys a couple of hours with my boys.

Hope that helps!

MInTheGap said...

We've talked about forming a babysitting coop with other families, but either they have just as many kids, or have families that are close so they really wouldn't benefit.

And then, our oldest has milk/egg/tree nut allergy-- so he has a special diet.

I think it's more we think we are imposing because they have a busy schedule than we are really imposing (and then there's the price of gas!)

But thanks for the encouragement.

Back on topic, is it right or wrong to flirt with a waiter/waitress? My grandfathers always flirted with the "is there anything else I can get you?" and I'm not sure whether-- with a person you'll probably never see again-- whether that crosses the line.

Heather Paulsen said...

You could always offer gas money..just a thought. I do think family does enjoy being with kids, again if not over used. Another idea would be an older couple at your church with older kids and no grandchilden. They may love some kid time!

About the flirting with a waitress. Is there no such thing as harmless flirt? I don't know. I was a waitress in college and had pleny of friendly older men chat with me...did I become emotional attached, no.

However, I wouldn't want my husband flirting with a waitress harmless or not, he's my husband...I guess there are a lot of factors involved.