Monday, March 17, 2008

03/17/08 - Parents/Mentors

This post is based off this comment:

"Do you have any specific advice for me and others whose parents are not involved?
I have mentors, but in reality they'd probably meet "him" (whoever he is) after a relationship has formed, you know? I don't have the covering of an earthly father to scope out guys beforehand or to tell me they know who I'm going to marry or when. Any guy who comes around me, will see there's no dad to go thru first. I wish there was that family dynamic but there's not. (I am praying for God to give me extra guidance and wisdom in lieu of a what a dad would give me.)"

First of all, God is your Father and you have the wisdom to pray for extra guidance, which is awesome! He will bless this request.

Second, I know that my family dynamic is not the norm. I am well awear of the fact that many young women do not have the protection, covering, or input from their dad. Some dad's are missing from the picture all together for a variety of reasons.

So in saying that, your questions are very legitimate and many are in your position. Actually, some may read about my dad and just write me off because they can't even imagine a dad like that.

Seeking out mentors is also very wise. Although they may not enter the picture till after the young man has stepped into your life, they still will have wisdom and insight in seeing if it a good fit for you. A good mentor will know you will enough and have spent time with you, to see if a young man would be high quality and the things you're looking for.

Have you asked your mentor to be your "screening process"? You may think, "That would scare any guy off!" But my dad is 6 feet 8 inches and I thought that alone would scare any guy far away (I never thought a guy would be brave enough!) But, the right guy will be open to your desire for him to be "screened". He will see it as protection of you, of him and of your hearts.

Also, a mentor has just been around the block longer. They can pick up on things that you may not be able to see! They may be able to see qualities in him that could result in deeper issues along the way.

Hope this helps!

We're going to spend the rest of the week in "Heather's Thoughts on Preparing for Marriage!"

1 comment:

rachaelizabeth said...

yeh, i'll definitely plan on getting my mentor involved, more than i planned on before, when the time comes. thanks for responding to my question. can't wait to hear your thoughts on preparing for marriage!