Saturday, March 15, 2008

03/15/08 - More Questions

Seems like my Comment Response blog created more questions!

"What you said helped. I'd like to ask two more questions. How involved were your parents in this? Did they "approve" him dating you before he approached you? And, if so, what kinds of things did they look for, ask him, etc. ? Also, The post said " I'm wondering if you could go deeper and give examples of everything you and John talked about." What things DID you talk about?"

About my parents, it would be helpful to read Our Story. Start with part one and you'll see how involved my parents were! But in a nutshell, yes they approved and my dad knew he would be my husband within a few months of knowing John.

What did we talk about?

Everything from our visions of raising children, expectations of a husband/wife to where we'd want to vacation. We covered topics of our own childhoods and how things in our past effect our thinking or actions. What filter we use in life. Our desire for the centrality of the family in our marriage and with our kids. We covered money issues: how we spend, budget, expectations of fiances within marriage. What are our biggest areas of struggles. Expectations of holidays as a married couple. What ministries we desire to be apart of or continue in. What areas of growth we know we need the most. How we like to celebrate birthdays.

In writing all of this I realize that John and I knew ourselves pretty well. As a single it's helpful to know yourself. Take time to work through (journal or think through) these topics. It will be a great aid in knowing what things you want to know about once you get to the place in a relationship where you're working towards marriage!

Hope this helps!

1 comment:

rachaelizabeth said...

do you have any specific advice for me and others whose parents are not involved? i have mentors, but in reality they'd probably meet "him" (whoever he is) after a relationship has formed, you know? i don't have the covering of an earthly father to scope out guys beforehand or to tell me they know who i'm going to marry or when. any guy who comes around me, will see there's no dad to go thru first. i wish there was that family dynamic but there's not. (i am praying for god to give me extra guidance and wisdom in lieu of a what a dad would give me.)