Friday, December 28, 2007

12/28/07 - Communication

As a single person it is important to learn how to communicate what you're really thinking. I have seen that there are some women who struggle with saying what they really want (yes, guys are rolling their eyes, shaking their heads, agreeing with me).

But we, as women, can tend to be "people pleasers", so we get involved in a relationship or friendship and we aren't honest with our feelings. We don't communicate what we are really thinking. Then we end up in situations we're not comfortable with and with guys we don't want to be with.

A girlfriend was sharing with me how she ended up engaged with a man she didn't want to marry (they didn't get married). She said she almost just let other people convince her that she was to marry him. Through the process of breaking off the engagement, and dealing with all these emotions, she has realized she lacked good, healthy boundaries. She didn't communicate what she really wanted or what she was really thinking.

I am a huge advocate of speaking our minds. Most of my friends know that I will say what I am really thinking. I have no problem saying, "no" if it's something that I just shouldn't put into my calendar, or if it's not the best for my marriage, family, and ministry.

Married women can take this bad "habit" into a marriage. They don't share their true thoughts or have just accepted the way they interact with their mate and end up frustrated with the lack of communication.

Knowing your own healthy boundaries before your married, will greatly enhance your marriage.

1 comment:

Kaysie said...

I am one to struggle with not communicating properly. I believe it is like you said - I am definitely a people pleaser... but I also struggle with pride, and I think I don't let others know what I'm thinking for fear of rejection or making them unhappy.

My family helps me a lot with this, and by God's grace I am learning to "speak up" in humility.

I agree, learning to communicate properly while I am still single is going to help my future marriage a lot.

Thanks for sharing!

Kaysie