Tuesday, November 13, 2007

11/13/07 - Comment

Yesterday I got this question:

"Did you wait until you were engaged to have an emotional relationship?"

John and I were friends for six months before we started to date. During that time we did not have an emotional relationship. We were friends, but conversations never went past joking around, small talk, and general conversation.

The night we started to date with the intention of seeing if God would have us get married, we began to become emotional with each other; sharing our hearts, thoughts, dreams, expectations, and feelings.

Of course, just as any relationship, you become more emotionally involved and attach as time goes on.

I would like to say, that my relationship with John is not the role model of emotional purity. Not to say that John and I did not remain emotional pure, but it was God's Spirit at work.

Try to not look at the form of what we did, but see the heart we had for remaining pure for God and each other. It may look different for someone, but the heart of purity is the same.

At times I feel like people want a three point layout of how this works and I don't think it is possible, because God doesn't work the same for each of us! That's what makes God ~ God! He can do whatever He pleases, we just have to listen and obey!


Kristiana said...

I've been reading your blog for the past month or so, and it's been a real encouragement to me. Thank you for being such a blessing!

Heather Paulsen said...


Thank you so much for your note!


Joseph said...

Most people naturaly desire direction. It is true that rituals and formulas (and other forms of direction) can become hollow and give one a false sense of security. This danger does not make these things bad or harmful to anyone. The Lord does work in individual person's lives. That also does not mean that guidlines should not be given from the older to the younger. There has been an unhealthy trend towards individualism in the Church since the protestant reformation. It has only gotten worse in the United States. People are expected to find their own way - and this even in the Church. This is a reprehensible failure in a culture- but it is something worse in the Church of Jesus Christ.

It is easy for people to say something like this, "if you are asking the question (about physical or emotional purity), then your heart is probably already in the wrong place (and I am not saying that Heather Paulsen is wanting to say that FYI)." Although this may be true in some individual cases- it is not a good road to go down. Of course, everyone must examine their own hearts, of course- no one can rightly suggest otherwise. I must say, however, that good intentions are not enough- and concrete guidlines should be considered seriously by the Church.