Wednesday, October 24, 2007

10/24/07 - Dating

What is dating?

When someone says, "I don't date." It may not mean that they will never date, it just means that they don't date just for the sake of dating.

Our culture has a system of casual dating, but I believe in dating with a purpose. Dating with a goal in mind: marriage.

I can hear your thoughts, "How do you know you are to marry someone unless you date?"

I met my husband 6 months before we started to "date". I got to know a lot about him from the sidelines of his life: being with him and his family, watching him serve the Lord, and seeing how he interacted with other people. We did not have to go out one-on-one for me to learn a great deal about the type of man he was.

The night we officially started dating we agreed we were in this relationship with marriage in mind. It did not mean we were engaged, we just were not going to go into this committed relationship lightly.

Because our intentions were clear, it allowed for conversations that served this purpose. We were married four months later.

What do you think of this pattern of dating?


Holly said...

Whatever you want to call it, a relationship with a stated, recognized intent and purpose seems more productive than one that is begun and carried out with no future vision in mind! =)

Bringing Up Daisy said...

I am a grandmother bringing up her granddaughter who is now age 12. I have been reading your book and have read several books on remaining pure and plan to give them to her over the years as she grows. We have conversations all the time about purity and she has read several books on that and modesty.

I believe dating with a purpose is a great idea and am trying to plant that seed in her mind but I am concerned because casual dating is so ingrained in our culture. She is now seeing some of her peers pair up and "go together". She asked me the other day how old she had to be to date.

I don't know if I would have bought into the dating with a purpose idea as a teenager. I'm not sure how to help her to be able to go against the culture on this...I seem to be the only parent in her group of friends who is talking to their child about this.

Joseph said...

I know I think that dating with a purpose is a good idea. I also know it is not much of an idea. It is especially not much of an idea with the culture we are in. Casual dating is ingrained in our psyches as Americans. If you tell a teenager to not date without a purpose that is only a start. It is a better start than telling them to do what all their "friends" do, however, it is just a start. When you dismantle one system, you need to put something else in its place. I do not know what that something is, but I do know that a lack of guidance with children is a big gamble that you might not want to take.