Monday, October 22, 2007

10/22/07 - Friends with Benefits

In our American culture we are desensitized to what is acceptable in friendships. We have this term: friends with benefits.

Those benefits may include, but are not limited to: kissing, holding hands, and cuddling.

This term basically is saying, "It's okay that we're using each other, because we have a term for it! And because we have a term for it, we can do those things without the other person thinking this is more than just a friendship."

When we experience those physical affections outside of a commitment, it is using each other. Period! There's no way around it!

When I spoke on Thursday, this topic came up, in a round about way, and I asked: Women, if you are kissing and cuddling with a guy "friend", do you think you are his girlfriend? All the girls shook their head, YES!

We are desensitize to the beauty of saving these simple acts of physical affection. God wants more for His children. He wants them/us to see how amazingly beautiful it is to save those things for a committed relationship. Then you enjoy those things with a person you know is not using you and what peace comes from that!

Remember God is a God of peace, not coNfusIon. If you have a "friendship" that confusing then maybe it's not as God honoring as it should be!

Thessalonians 5:23
23May God himself, the God of peace, sanctify you through and through. May your whole spirit, soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ (italics mine)


Joseph said...

You know, I have always found it strange that women would be a friend "with benefits". Now maybe it is not so strange (though not so good either) if those benifits do not include sex- but when they do... I just do not know to many women who would be ok with that. It seems to go against the grain a lot more in the women I know than in the men. I'm sure there is a reason that women will have sex with a "friend"- but I cannot think of a good one, even from the perspective of a non-believer.

arcee said...

Tis true that God is not a God of confusion, nor is He a God of deception.
"Friends with Benefits" is a subtle sin we can find ourselves intrigued by. We can slowly rationalize to ourselves over time that it is okay to blur the lines of communication with a friend.
Even if you reason that both parties are 'okay' with it, that doesn't mean that our Lord is okay about it!