Saturday, October 6, 2007

10/06/07 - Emotional Integrity

What is emotional integrity?

The heart of emotional purity is having emotional integrity with those we come in contact with. It's understanding that if you are single, emotional integrity would be keeping your emotions for the mate God has for you. It would including not asking for time, energy, feelings, conversations, or emotions that don't belong to you.

I had plumb line questions I would ask myself when I was single:

1) Would I treat him this way if he was married?
2) Would I talk about this with him if his wife was sitting here with us?
3) Would I think about him this way if he were married?

As I interact with single guys, I'd filter my actions and thoughts through these questions. It helped me maintain emotional integrity with my guy friends. Even as I got to know my husband, before we were dating, I treated him this way.

After we committed to each other, he told me there were times when we were "just friends", that he felt me pull away from him. I told him that I was just protecting my heart!

Maintaining emotional integrity in my relationships allowed for the greatest amount of freedom in friendships and in my walk with the Lord!

1 comment:

Kimberly 'Butterfly Wings' said...

Heather,
God lead me to buy your book on Emotional Purity yesterday. I read it quickly (need to reread more thoroughly)and experienced an AHA! moment. I'm 42 and single, never been married. In reviewing my relationship history through the lens of your book, understanding and long-sought after insight is slowly breaking through. Emotional integrity and purity is what I what I lacked most of my earlier years in the 'dating' world; and something that I hope will be an attitude I hold going forward.

The price has been too high and the pain too great for me to continue to live with little regard for my emotional integrity or purity with men. The damage has been done...only God's grace and healing can mend the brokenness I've experienced (much due to my own lack of awareness and indiscretion). I selfishly demanded a man's attention, time and emotions despite the fact that I knew I wasn't interested in pursuing a commitment or the man wasn't available and I never considered how my actions might be damaging to him, myself and others involved.

Thank you for sharing about this important issue...one that I'd never considered until I read your book and one that I will continue to explore and pray about in my own life.

Blessings, Kimberly