Saturday, September 29, 2007

09/29/07 - For Guys

Lately, I've realized that I have not addressed guys, directly.

Wednesday I was talking to this guy about how emotionally attached women can become. He said, "So am I not supposed to talk to any girl, ever!?!"

Well, that is extreme, but how should a guy treat a girl to help maintain emotional purity in both of their lives.

First of all, realize that girls will believe how you ACT, not what you say. You may tell her, "We're just friends." But then spend lots of time with her, tell her things you don't normally share, hug her, go out to dinner with her, and basically make her feel set apart. She may have a tendency to start believing that, although you said: "We're just friend", your feelings have changed.

Second, think about your future wife. How do you want other guys treating her now, before you met? Do you want them to help her maintain emotional and physical purity? Women can become very devoted and I am sure you want her to save all that devotion for you and you alone.

Third, treat all girls equally. You may be a friendly, warm, open personality. I do not suggest you quench that integral part of your personality, but just make sure all girls are being treated the same. It is up to a young lady to realize you are not treating her any different, thus emotional purity is maintained.

Fourth, invest your energy in your other guy friends. I was the type of girl who always had closer guy friends than girl friends. When I started realizing how I wanted to remain emotionally pure for my husband, I began to shift what was comfortable for me, and invest in other women.

Hope this helps guys and I hope to address more guy issues in the weeks to come!


MInTheGap said...

This was a terrific post. It's a must read for guys, because I think that they're either clueless to what they are doing, or they're manipulative.

I especially liked the fourth point-- I tend to be like you, associating more closely with the opposite sex than the same, and yet I had to go through a re-evaluation after I got married because of how important it is to remain pure.

I've had to watch conversations and not become too friendly with anyone of the opposite sex but my wife-- I've gotten to the point where it's awkward if I go anywhere near there-- which is good!

The Difference Now said...

I'm glad to see you're addressing the guys here. They get overlooked too often when it comes to the subject of appropriate friendships.

BTW, If you'd like to participate, I'm tagging you for the Random 8 Meme.

P.S. Keep posting!

Anonymous said...

Just an added thought – The Bible says that the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom (Psalms 111:10). If you fear God, you will behave much more wisely with the girl you like, because you will see her as God sees her. Think about it – If the girl you like is a Christian, then she belongs to Christ – She is holy, set apart for God, not set apart for you. She is not yours until, or unless, He gives her to you. And He has not given her to you until He moves her father to give her to you (in marriage)(I Corinthians 7:38). If you marry her or even touch her (I Corinthians 7:1) – physically, emotionally, romantically – before she is given to you in marriage, then you have stolen what belongs to God, and you have Him to answer to. She belongs to Him and you need to treat her that way with fear and trembling. The fear of God is the beginning of wisdom. I you fear Him who possesses her, you will behave more wisely with His treasured bride. If she is Christ’s bride, you are messing with someone else’s bride. Not only that, but with the Almighty’s bride, and He is a jealous God. I would watch how you behave with His treasured bride. How would you behave with someone else’s bride, especially if that someone is a jealous someone. – With fear, trembling, extreme caution? Just as Jesus will present His bride (the church) pure, holy, spotless, so you can present your bride on your wedding day pure, holy, and spotless. Are you keeping your bride spotless – physically, emotionally, romantically? I’m sure you would prefer your bride to be untouched in those ways on your wedding day – keep Christ’s bride untouched – so He can present her to you untouched, even by you.