Wednesday, August 8, 2007

08/08/07 - Emotional Affairs

The other day I was searching "emotional affair" on Google! To my amazement I came across over 59,000 web sites with the words: emotional affair.

One poll showed that more than 75% of the over 8,000 votes, think that: Yes, emotional affairs are wrong. Even in our society where most anything goes, people think emotional affairs are wrong.

Even on I found an article backing up the fact that emotional affairs are wrong and a support group for people who are dealing with the effects of emotional affairs.

There are sites giving lists of friendships vs. emotional affairs! There are great questions to ask yourself if you are wondering if you have over stepped any lines in a friendship.

There are stories of those who have been involved in emotional affairs.

The only one of the above sites are straight forward Christian sites, so I sat amazed to see how even the world thinks emotional affairs are wrong.

If you are single, and striving to remain emotionally pure realize this: you will have to maintain emotional integrity and purity within the marriage commitment. Why not start now?

I had a girlfriend who was a flirt! She'd flirt with just about anyone, married guys, single guys or divorced guys. Even a month after her wedding I saw her flirting with some single guys. She craved attention! She loved the spotlight. This was her downfall. Eight years after being unhappily married she cheated on her husband. Maybe if she would have tamed that "flirting" beast before she was married, she would have been satisfied with her mate.

She told me her affair started as a close friendship with a guy who actually would pay attention to those small details her husband overlooked. Unfortunately, her and her husband are divorced now and there are three little girls who will have to be split between mom and dad's house the rest of their lives!

What do you want for marriage? Start practicing emotional purity now!


Anne McClane said...

Hey Heather! I just wanted to say how much I enjoy reading your posts. It is so nice to get chunks of information at a time instead of having to sit down and read a book when I can't find the time! I hope others are finding just as much encouragement and challenges as I have.

You had once mentioned that you have several extra books lying around and might donate them to a youth group. Is that still the case? I'd love to pass them along to the girls in my youth group!

EmotionalPurity said...

Thanks Anne! Yes, I have some old editions. Just call me or send me an e-mail!

Anonymous said...


We too are encouraged by reading your posts. Hope that lots of folks are.

It's the small choices that we make each day that can change the course of our lives. Keep encouraging us to follow God's ways. If we do we will reap abundantly.

Cherie Burbach said...

Heather - Thanks for linking to my article on emotional affairs. I get emails all the time from people who ask me about this issue and tell me how it has affected their marriage. I'm glad you are writing about it as well!

You've got a great blog - keep up the great work!

Cherie Burbach
Dating Feature Writer

Anonymous said...

I won't tell you how I stumbled across your site or how I know you because I wish to remain anonymous.
I will tell you, this is a very current battle with me.
I have been a born-again believer since 17 and saved myself for marriage. I've been married now for several years with kids. My husband is faithful and is also a believer, but I have lost heart with him due to several reasons. I totally understand what a mid-life crisis is and why people go down the road of having an affair. I am currently tempted with that with a man at my current job. I know it is sin, but part of me doesn't care anymore and it's not a good place to be. So please keep me in prayer.
One thing I'd like to say. That's great you are focusing on speaking to single, younger women about this issue;however, with the above situation I have just described to you, I believe this temptation can be just as bad being married as single - I am proof positive.
Emotionally I feel like I am having to put up with "worse" with my husband - what I mean is the marriage vows - "for better or for worse". It is a very frustrating thing to live with and continue to try to be happy.
I can tell you that once you lose heart with your spouse, it is really hard to not look for it somewhere else, even as a believer.
Over the years, in general, there seem to be a lot of "ministries" to the single people, but where are they for the married ones? Looks like you're trying to address both and that's a good thing. I'm sure I'm not the only one out there with this struggle. I wonder how many other Christian women are in my shoes? I'm glad I can share this anonymously and that you are addressing this very real issue.