Have you ever given your heart to someone who didn’t love you back?
Do you feel like you’ve experienced heartache over and over again?
If you are emotionally attached to someone, it’s easy to cross the line and become emotionally intimate. Then if the relationship doesn’t work out, you’re left with scars on your heart.
Emotional Purity will show you how to define and set boundaries in your relationships to avoid making the same mistakes. Learn how to guard your heart and keep it emotionally pure.
Do you do speaking engagements?
Yes, I do speaking engagements!
I've spoken at:
* College Bible Studies
* Youth Camps
* Women's Retreat
* Camp leadership conference
* Mother/Daughter Teas
* Homeschool conference
* College chapels
* Youth groups
* Homeschool support groups
How did you meet your husband?
I did a 6 part story: Click HERE to start reading! (Make sure you start with part 1)
Did you take your husband's name?
My legal name is Heather Patenaude. When we met with Crossway Publishers about my book contract, the discussion came up about my name, should we keep Paulsen or change it to Patenaude.
Since the book was first published with Paulsen my publisher, my husband and I agreed to keep Paulsen. I clearly asked my husband in that meeting if he was okay with me using Paulsen. He was fine with that. Since my blog is assoicated with my book I use the name Heather Paulsen, but my name is Heather Patenaude!
What is emotional integrity?
The heart of emotional purity is having emotional integrity with those we come in contact with. It's understanding that if you are single, emotional integrity would be keeping your emotions for the mate God has for you. It would including not asking for time, energy, feelings, conversations, or emotions that don't belong to you.
I had plumb line questions I would ask myself when I was single:
1) Would I treat him this way if he was married?
2) Would I talk about this with him if his wife was sitting here with us?
3) Would I think about him this way if he were married?
As I interacted with single guys, I'd filtered my actions and thoughts through these questions. It helped me maintain emotional integrity with my guy friends. Even as I got to know my husband, before we were dating, I treated him this way.
After we committed to each other, he told me there were times when we were "just friends", that he felt me pull away from him. I told him that I was just protecting my heart!
Maintaining emotional integrity in my relationships allowed for the greatest amount of freedom in friendships and in my walk with the Lord!
Do you have a good way to present this to my pre-teen or young teen?
Here's a good craft project to help your young teen understand, I did it with a 7th grade Sunday School girls class:
I gave them each a heart with the words: emotions, feelings, dreams, goals, respect, trust, hopes, passions, and devotion written all over the heart.
Then I gave them a black piece of construction paper with boyfriends written on the top of it. I explained that emotional purity is about guarding your heart, saving it for your mate.
Then I glued their heart to their "high school sweet heart". I explained that our hearts have the ability to stick to boys, I call it heart glue. About five minutes laters we tore the heart off of the boyfriend.
They didn't like how much black they took on their heart and how much red was left on the black paper. I told them that their hearts are left with who ever they date and don't marry.
Then we glued their hearts to their "college boyfriend". He stayed put for about 10 minutes, which allowed it to really dry. When the girls "broke-up" with him, a lot of their hearts tore or ripped.
Then I glued a third boyfriend to their black paper. By this time, most of their hearts were thin, ripped and far from well put together.
As I was sharing more of the concept of emotional purity the girls started picking at the red paper that was left behind on the other two boyfriends. As they were picking I said, "See you're trying to get your heart back, but it's stuck with that boyfriend."
Finally, they ripped their heart off one last time.
At that time I pulled out a white piece of paper with husband written on the top of it. I went around and glued their ripped, thinned hearts on to their husbands.
I finally gave them a piece of paper with a perfect heart glued on to a paper that said husband. I wrote these two verses: Prov. 31:12: She does him good and not evil all the days of her life. And Prov. 4:23: Above all else, guard your heart for it is the wellspring of life.
I heald up the ripped up heart on one husband and the perfect heart of the second paper. Iexplained that these are their choices, to save their heart or not.